I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
