Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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