Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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