If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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