It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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