Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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