She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
