is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
