Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
