1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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