just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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