What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
