I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
