She said her name was "party"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
