I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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