Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
