is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
