I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
