shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
did i walk over a car last night?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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