its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
