Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
