So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
