i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
