I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
