i think my tv is drunk
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize