I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
