I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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