a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
