end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
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Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
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It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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