Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
