So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
