Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
