I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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