I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
