That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
it was like eating out sand paper
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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