You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
