Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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