Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
