She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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