The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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