Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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