So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
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