I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
