your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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