ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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