I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
