I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize