I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I want a musical about memes.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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