If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
