Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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