We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
its liver damage thursday
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
