when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
