margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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