I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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