Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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