i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize